Don’t Tell People, Help Them See

I always thought we are persuaded through facts and logic. I thought stating the facts of the situation would bring people over to the best course of action.

Through a difficult period of my career and life, and through several negotiation classes, I realized people aren’t influenced by facts and data, and can’t be told anything.

We can’t be told anything.

We have to discover it ourselves.

I have found this is the rule for persuading people. We have to guide people based on the pictures in their heads.

The pictures in our heads are based on our knowledge, success, failures, friends, and experiences in general. If we are persuading through talking and throwing facts at the other person, then we aren’t understanding where they are coming from.

Without understanding the other person, we will have a difficult time persuading them with our viewpoint or buy our product. We help the other person understand their problems and guide them by asking questions.

Questions show we interested in understanding them and their issues. Questions help us collect more information.

The more information we have to work with the better we can understand the pictures in their heads. The clearer we understand the pictures, we better questions we can ask to guide others to their answer, whether it is our product or another.

When working with people, think about how to help them see things for themselves – not in a malicious or manipulative manner, but in an empathic and human manner.

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