Do you talk with or talk to people?

Talking to people is a transactional act of giving and receiving information. Talking to people assumes the other person has nothing new, helpful, or a different point of view on the topic. It is merely an act of transmitting a piece of information.

On the other hand, talking with people is a journey both people embark upon. We still transmit information, but it isn’t a transactional act. The conversation grows, evolves, and meanders as we learn about the topic, and take side trips. Talking with people requires both people to participate.

Talking with people requires suspending our judgments.

It requires accepting our ignorance.

It requires accepting others have differing viewpoints and allowing a conversation to unfold in whatever direction.

We build friendships and relationships by talking with people, instead of talking to people. We can talk to the stranger in line at the store, but we aren’t necessarily talking with the person. We don’t necessarily embark on cooperative conversation and grow with the stranger in the store line.

The conversations of growth, where we learn about our ignorance, our limitations, where we can play with ideas, and play with topics.

Think about all the great conversations in your life. Where those conversations where people talked to you, or where people talked with you?

In your next conversation, try suspending your judgment of the person and topic to see where the conversation goes and how a building block to a relationship is added.

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