Ship30for30 Day 21 - Life Is Tough

Sun, Mar 7, 2021 2-minute read

Life Is Tough This might be a little too open…
There are two things I’m working on that couple together tightly for me: improving my communication skills and being less of a conflict avoider.

Both of these are directly related because I avoid conflicts due to a lack of confidence in my communication skills, and the lack of confidence in my communication skills leads me to avoid conflict.

My communication reinvention started by being told I was a bad communicator.

I am not a bad communicator. A lifetime of being bullied and teased about a small speech disorder and having a different timbre voice crushed all confidence I had in speaking with people.

It has been a long struggle with these in the last year, because of the difficulty of undoing bad habits, and one person actively making it difficult to improve through their bad communication and sticking to unfounded assumptions about me.

As I nurture my confidence in my communication skills, I see I’m getting better at difficult conversations, and not avoiding conflict. I see conversations are flowing easier while becoming deeper and more interesting. I see fewer misunderstandings and fewer misinterpreted intentions.

There have been a few issues, recently. One IT recruiter flipped their lid when I respectfully expressed my concerns about their behavior. Every conversation won’t go well. I took this as a win because I normally would have avoided that difficult conversation.

Unexpectedly, I am grateful for being told I was a bad communicator. So much of my life improved from that one statement.