Ship30for30 Day 16 - What's better than 'no'?
What’s better than “no”? Verb-led questions are great for getting a yes, no, or maybe.
What if we want more than yes, no, or maybe?
Interrogative-led questions give the other person a chance to provide more information. These are questions starting with: Who, what, when, where, why, how, or which. Typically, these questions require in-depth answers beyond yes, no, or maybe.
These questions help us help the other person process and clarify their thoughts and intentions by providing a safe space, and by being interested in understanding their views and problems.
A few examples of interrogative-led questions:
- When did the problem start?
- What’s important about this date?
- What challenges are you facing?
Open questions help us to better understand the vision and goals of other people; instead of convincing someone to accept our ideas and goals, questions allow us to find their current place, then work together toward a solution, and they reveal new information.
A few quick questions tips:
- Don’t ask a question, then clarify the question. This is a setup for problems. Ask a question, then wait for an answer; use the answer from the question to create the next question.
- Don’t ask several questions in a row.
- Don’t answer your own question.
- Be careful with “why” questions. Why questions can feel accusatory and cast blame if not executed well. I say stay away unless there is not a different framing.
What’s better than “No”? Gaining more information and understanding of the other person to reach a shared understanding and goal.