People Are Everything, Mostly
Conversations and negotiations are about people. Conversation and negotiations revolve around hearing, validating, and building relationships with people.

We like and want to be around people who listen to us, who validate our thoughts and feelings, and who seek out our thoughts and opinions. We are more willing to help and work with people who make us feel heard and validated.

We trust people who treat us in a way that makes us feel heard and valued, and don’t trust those that don’t. We are more likely to work against people who belittle and invalidate.

We start with listening to the other person to understand, then consider their viewpoint and the pictures in their minds. The pictures in our heads change hour by hour and day by day based on the events happening in our lives. A conversation started today, won’t be a continuation of the same conversation tomorrow, because our emotions and problems have changed. We need to constantly be monitoring the perceptions of others through listening, clarifying questions, and empathy.

Taking time to consider the viewpoint and struggles of a person on the other side of a problem conversation and turn that into a relationship that values the person isn’t easy. It is a skill requiring practice. The good thing is that even if a conversation started off poorly, usually, consideration and validation can bring the conversation back.

Let’s remember there are people who want to be heard and validated on the other side of our conversations.

Twitter