Ship30for30 Day 2 - Value in repeating yourself?

Tue, Feb 16, 2021 2-minute read

Value in repeating yourself

I’ve always been bugged hearing people repeat things in meetings, calls, conversations, etc. There is something about hearing the same piece of information multiple times in a conversation that makes me irritable.

My inner voice screams, “I got it already, let’s move on!”

Though, there is a magic to repeating something three or more times or changing how a question is asked a few times. I learned the idea as the 3+ rule in negotiations.

The rule is fairly straightforward: stay with a question until it has been answered three or more times, or repeat a statement three or more times. Not only does hearing information again keep the information in our minds, but hearing it repeatedly provides an opportunity to reevaluate the information, whether it’s a decision, a question, or reinforcing the importance of the information.

The rule is hard to abuse, but it can be done. We’ve all been on the other side of a conversation when someone states the same thing, in the same way, several times in a row, making us feel little in the process.

The rule isn’t about hammering someone into compliance, but it is about giving people the opportunity to look at information or a decision from different perspectives and across a period of time. The rule is helping the other person in the conversation emotionally commit to a decision or the information being provided.

The rule can open up amazing conversations; next time there is an important decision or information to share, try the 3+ rule across the conversation to give people an opportunity to confirm a commitment, clarify an important question, or reinforce important information.

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